Saturday, October 10, 2015

Hey Soul Sista

Sisters wasn't in our equation. Well, the 2-legged kind weren't anyway. Technically, this momma wanted another kid and for it to be a boy so we could be done. With 2. Then we had another girl. So I was getting used to the fact that we would have 2 girls.

Low and behold, 4 years later - we have 2 more sisters. Mommys dreams of a son are no more.



And I wouldn't change a thing.

I have heard many stories over the last 4 years, some good and some bad, about siblings and how Ds will affect them or has affected their upbringing. I shiver at the stories that I've heard where the sibling is resentful or frustrated by the parents ways of handling the relationship between the person with Ds and themselves. They have almost felt that they weren't valid because the parents focused on the person with the disability and less on the one without. Or they were forced to care for their sibling with Ds.

Then there are the ones that its just life. Its been a part of their upbringing and friends, relationships, etc. have been established because of this community they have always been a part of.

A friend of mine recently described it... its just been weaved into every discussion we have ever had. It wasn't just a single discussion.

Until the last couple of weeks, we hadn't really had much discussion about Ds with Ash. I wasn't sure if we should sit her down and have a "talk" or just start adding in some dialogue as we engaged her in the various events and activities. She did give us a few questions as to why we were doing all these walks for LB. So the other day, I casually mentioned it to her. That LB has Down syndrome and that sometimes it takes her a bit more work or time to learn some things. Or that it can cause her to not always have as many words as she does.

This seemed to sink in a bit with her. Like she had a bit of a light bulb moment. I have noticed her being a bit more patient with LB lately or maybe I am just hoping that I am seeing that. She has never been mean to her. She just gets really irritated that LB doesn't have the best communication skills or that she doesn't play with her like she wants her to. Typical for her to have at their age level but the mommy in me wants everyone to hug and play nice, all day long.

My hubs and friend tell me I am being paranoid and that they will love each other unconditionally. And I know they are right. I am starting to see it from both sides. But like I said, I would like to see more interaction between them.

I am also always looking for moments and ways to teach Ash about differences and kindness to others. She has a pretty broken filter most days so I'm pretty cautious about her engaging others in public. You just never know what she's gonna to say... LOL!

Now LB and Lilli-pad, they are peas in a pod. Well until Lilli pulls LB's hair. Then its on.



 Seriously though, my thought process when having them all so close, was so that they would be close. So that they could learn from one another and have each other when J and I are gone. I want  them to be aware of LB's struggles and triumphs as she will be of theirs. I want them to WANT to be a part  of her life as well as those in our Ds community's world. I don't want them to become jaded or uninvolved with a world they are going to grow up in. I want them to become advocates and cheerleaders for the entire special needs community.


Because I want to raise my girls with compassion and empathy. I want them to be kind and joyful; loving and caring. I want them to know unconditional love both from getting it and giving  it. I want them to feel the true connection to their sisters as they would with any friend and then some. I want them to become soul sisters.


Until next time..
Shona

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