Sunday, October 11, 2015

Dear Mother With a Pre-natal Diagnosis.....From a Mom in Year 4

You're probably googling the heck out of everything... looking for any sign of normalcy you can relate to right now. If you are anything like me, you can barely see the computer screen through your tears much less the keyboard.

I am sure there are a lot of pages that you are finding that scare the pants off of ya, and then there are some that may not be so nice. There are the cute kids, the adults that are doing amazing things, the model, the actor, the restaurant owner...

You may be thinking that the babies are so stinking cute... you can't even tell that some of them have Down Syndrome.

Then there are the page about what to say, what not to say. How to describe this diagnosis.. what does that mean? How will it affect your kids that you already have, that you will have or that you want to have? Wait, should you even consider more kids...

What kind of life will she have? Will people be mean to her? What will she look like? Will she look like me at all?

At least that's what I did. Those were only some of my thoughts.

My 2 biggest forms of advice -

1- stay off the Internet until you have completed #2. You can get back on, but you need to do this FIRST.

2- meet someone with Down syndrome. Meet a young kid. A baby. Ease into this new world with baby steps. They are much easier to digest something new than to dive into the deep in with your clothes on.

Now, back to that Internet rule. You can get back on, but only AFTER you have met a baby/kiddo with Ds. You see, you will find them adorable and maybe you will see that these kids are just like any other kids. They are babies and they like to play and chew on things.. they have stinky diapers and wet kisses just as all babies do.

Now that you have eased into this world a bit, the Internet can be your guided resource of information. But be prepared, there is SO MUCH incorrect info out there. Its really sad. But its reality. Then you can seek the parents and a network that will work for you in obtaining info. Sure, doctors will give you the info they have to.. but its the people that live it - you need to meet.

It's the people that write blogs, that go to events in your area, that have walked in your shoes, that you wanna know. They will get you through the scary times. They will show you that its not as bad as it seems. They will tell you all the hoops and loops to jump into and through. They will guide your storm covered ship into calmer waters. This group will be your friends and your allies.

Tests are scary and so are statistics. It's really not healthy to worry about things you can't control and statistics are one of those things. They usually don't come out as you anticipate them to either. That's called the lotto and its hard to win, believe me.

But one other word you should look up is

Unconditional love.

Because that is what you are about to embark upon. That's what you will get whether you give it or not. From your baby and your new friends.

Don't be scared, the hard part is over. The wait. Now you can learn, rejoice and celebrate the new baby you have been blessed with.

Until next time...
Shona

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