To a new mom, 2 years later

We are gearing up for our New Mom Celebration with the DSA this Saturday. I am really excited and anticipating a great time.

My BFF is having a baby too so I am going through the lists of "things I wish I knew before" in my head. Everything from what to buy, what NOT to buy and all the fun in between - like what bra's are more comfortable, what to do when your baby does/has this...

I try to think about what it was like for me when I was a new mom. Honestly, I didn't want to hear much from anyone. Lb got a shirt from someone that said, My Mommy Doesn't Want Your Advice. And it was TRUE! Sort of... it just took me a while to warm up to others' advice.

Like I said before, I had immersed myself in ALL THINGS DOWN SYNDROME! I was learning everything I could and found myself telling doctors and nurses a thing or two. There were two types of people I avoided mostly, the moms of both typical kids and the mom's of older kids with Ds.

The moms with kids that had Ds were hard for me because I found that many of them had lost hope. Or that's how it seemed to me anyway. They seemed like they had lost the will to fight. Don't get me wrong, they knew A LOT and I tried to obtain as much knowledge as I could. But I often found them to be depressed and I usually left the conversation feeling a bit more scared than I had entered it originally. I found myself having more doubts and fears than before. So I became more guarded in that group.

Then there were the mother's of typically developing kids. The one's that were comparing notes on all the big milestones their kids were accomplishing at various ages. I avoided these too because it didn't seem fair for me. Lb wasn't going to develop like them or as fast as they would. I didn't want to be the one in the convo that was like, Oh.. not there yet. So I vocally removed mysef from those convos
before they started.

Now, 2 years later, I found that LB DID accomplish those milestones and before some of their kids did. She is a rockstar and while she may not be on the same scale or timeline as everyone else, she is on her own and that's way more cool. She's the boss, applesauce.

Now, 2 years later, those mom's that seemed depressed, I now know why they were so guarded. I see why they have fear and I see how they got to where they are. I see how you can easily get so wrapped up in protecting your child that you can make it your life. I see how you can get lost in the advocating and the mothering and the fear itself. I better understand and now listen with a much different ear.

Now, 2 years later, I still can't wait to meet new moms and tell them our story. Because I too am STILL a new mom.. of a 9 month old. She is a whole other adventure! While some may avoid me, others will also listen to what I have to say. And the same holds true for me.

Until next time...
Shona