Mall walking.. oh the irony

Let me start by saying, mall walking is for old people for a reason.

Or just leave the purse at home in my case! I can't be a MALL WALKER! I am a MALL SHOPPER!! But I tried. I failed to be in the mall more than 10 minutes without making a purchase. Hence, there was no cardio to be had from this adventure.

I say adventure because oh it was! Let me tell ya... We began in Macy's where I had to buy Leighton a new costume for her Halloween debut. The one she had was mediocre at best. Fast forward to a fussy baby about 30 minutes in. I sat down to feed her and thought she was content enough for me to make another lap around the upper deck of the mall. That might have happened had I not made a pit stop into Wet Seal - the store - where I not only ruined my self esteem but also dropped a few too many dollars on disposable clothing that I now have to return for store credit. Word to the wise of new moms, you can't fit into the 20 somethings wardrobes anymore... even if it is just stretchy pants and t-shirts. Now I have a fussy baby and a bag full of nonsense.

I go back to Macy's thinking they will have a better bathroom. I HATE public bathrooms. I loathe them. I will hold it as long as I can to avoid them. Now I am a mommy so that's gonna change really fast. Rewind to this week and I think I may be broken of that phobia.

I walk through the glass door -promising already and head back to the stall. The stinch of someone else having no fear hits me like a ton of bricks. IT WAS AWFUL! I find the Koala care plastic table and begin de-robing my child. All the while trying to keep her from touching ANYTHING and holding my breath at the same time. Another lady comes out of the stall and doesn't make eye contact so I know she is feeling the pain as well.

As I take off Leighton's jeans, I see my own dilemma. She had "stinkeyed" ALLL OVER her clothes. Now I was part of the problem! Then I wondered if I was smelling my own kid or the "other" person. I then realized it had to be both.

My next issue came when I realized I had only a few wipes to get me through this disaster. We are on a no-wipes stint as they break her out really bad so I had a few wash clothes in the bag too. My only problem was getting to the sink that was in a whole different section of the bathroom. Luckily I grabbed the bottle of water from the car - "just in case I got thirsty during my walk" - ha, yea right. With one hand I am reaching over the garbage can to wet the wash cloth with the bottle of water and the other I am trying to keep my very squirmy baby from touching this contraption let alone fall off.

Then from out of the big stall (where we heard some interesting sounds like - Uh oh, and oh Man!) emerges a young lady that had to be in her late teens to early adult years. I am pretty sure she was the first offender in this four alarm smelling room. She begins to laugh and say, "Shooo weee - that's stinky!"

At this point I have no idea if she's referring to me or herself. Nonetheless, she's right. This room is full of foulness! I still hadn't looked up because I am avoiding all eye contact at this point. I also don't have the coordination to do both. I'm juggling poo and trying not to blind my child with her own feces covered onesie.

As I look up to see our co-prisoner of stink, I see a young lady who has Down syndrome. Oh the irony. :)


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